Today I saw an ex-very-dear-friend-of-mine. We used to be best buds..he was one of the first people I really made grown up friends with, and I thought we would be besties forever. I was wrong. I met someone else.
This particular friend was the first of many casualties of my roller derby/beer/karaoke habit. My friend and I would get together 2 or 3 nights a week to watch musicals, sing, cook dinner, and just pal and buddy around while my kids were playing their little kid games. My grown-up time. Then roller derby came along and swept me off my feet. The time commitment was huge. The after practice get togethers were fun. The beer was cheap. The karaoke was awesome. My friend was left behind for my brand new hobby that came complete with brand new friends.
I tried to get him involved with roller derby, but it just wasn't his thing. I tried to make plans around my practice schedule, but something always came up. Eventually, it turned out he no longer had time for me, and he moved on. I was so busy with my new life that I hardly noticed.
I saw him today, and for a second, I got really excited. I wanted to run up to him and give him a huge hug and tell him about all the crazy things that have happened over the last 4 years. I really miss him, and I wanted him to be happy to see me. He saw me, but he just kind of blinked and turned the other way. Not even a hello. God. I. Am. The. Worst. Friend. Ever.
This is the worst feeling in the world.....to realize that you are a dirtbag piece of shit low life no good crap ass non-friend.
The worst part is that he isn't the only person I did this to....I hope if you are reading this, you realize I'm talking to you, Squishy, and I'm sorry.
I guess I don't know if I can ever make things right, but at the very least, I'm hopeful that this realization will keep me from making the same mistake in the future. Friends are priceless, but you never really understand that value until you have none.
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